|A strange, golden glob appeared in the sparkling water...|
It opened like any really bad horror movie should...
…with a peaceful, idyllic scene. Dozens of families relaxed on a white-sand beach near Monterey’s Cannery Row on a balmy Sunday in October. Children played in the surf and squealed with delight. Young couples strolled hand-in-hand along the strand. And a grizzled old paddler launched his red kayak into the gentle surf. That would be moi.
|...and began clustering around me|
As I cautiously paddled closer for a better look, I noticed that several jellies had silently begun to surround my kayak. And then realized jellies were surfacing all over the bay.
An instant of panic was quickly overcome by inspiration. What a great idea for a sea creature horror movie! I whipped out my waterproof camera and filmed a few underwater snippets. Fortunately, my stylings as a film auteur were perfect for the horror genre – grainy, jerky, slightly unfocused video. I could already see my very own starfish on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
But those dreams were dashed when further research showed that someone else thought of this idea first. And did it so much better than I ever could. How do you top radioactive, mutant jellyfish? Especially with a title like “Hellyfish,” a 2014 horror spoof that was cheesier than a holiday sale on Hickory Farms cheese logs. I turned seaweed green with envy as I watched the movie trailer. (See the jump page of this post. And switch to full screen to get the max effect.)